This painting was a cathartic experience, making marks with my hands. My desire to be loved was rejected by 16 white girls during Middle school and High school. My first and only girlfriend in high school was Asian, but once we fell in love I got scared and pushed her away. I didn’t know how to process being loved and I made up lies and said horrible things so she would find a better man.
I’m grateful for her reaching out to me during my residency as she implored me to forgive myself for the guilt and regret I’ve held for so long. I have made one gold mark on the margin of this painting for her.